tf2 2

Tf2 2

tf2 2 is a video uploaded by Super Minecraft Kid in 2015. This is the second part of his Team Fortress 2 series, and his hatred towards the game has only grown more intense since the previous TF2 video.

Transcript

[The video opens up with Michael in the middle of a tournament. Another player annoyingly sings in the game's voice chat.]

SMK: Hello, guys. This is Super Minecraft Kid here. Today, we're gonna be talking about the most fuckin' gay game ever made: Team Fortress fuckin' 2! This game is so fuckin' gay, fuckin' baby graphics, fucking awful! I'm gonna catch fucking gay!

[He gets a Steam DM notification.]

SMK: Who the fuck is Steam messaging me?! I'M FUCKING RECORDING!

[Michael pauses the game and aggressively replies to the person messaging him. Once he finishes, he resumes the game and crosses paths with an enemy Pyro player.]

SMK: So- Oh fuck, it's a red guy! Gonna fucking kill you! YOU'RE- GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU! The only good thing with this fucking game-

[He dies.]

SMK: AAAAAAHHHHHH!! THE ONLY GOOD THING ABOUT THIS FUCKING GAME IS THAT IT'S FUCKING FREE! BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER!

[A female player questions Michael.]

Female Player: Why're you screaming?

SMK: Because this game is fucking GAY! And it's AWFUL, and it's BABY GRAPHICS!

Female Player: If it's gay, then why're you playing it?

SMK: Because it's free!

Female Player: 'Cause it's free?

SMK: Yeah. At least it has shooting and stuff. But it's still fuckin' gay, 'cause it's fuckin'...

Female Player: Yeah, there's a lot of guys here instead of females, so yeah, it is pretty gay.

SMK: I'm playing the- I don't have this on my own computer. I have it on my brother's computer. He has a bunch of really weird settings. Like, I see videos of it, and you can't see your feet...

[He moves the camera down to show his character's feet.]

SMK: ...but when I look down, I can see my feet. It's really fuckin' weird, like, what the fuck?

[Deprived of attention, Michael hops around a part of the arena and speaks out to the other players.]

SMK: Does anyone wanna w- w- talk to me? All right, The Spy Crap, what else should I say about the game? Should I go into more detail? ...Spy Crap, are you still here?

[Spy Crap says "Talk about the characters" in chat.]

SMK: "Talk about the character"... So there's fuckin' gay-ass w- skinny guy, but he's the most rec- he's like the most not-gay. Like, he's fucking gay, but he's like, fuckin' normal.

[He walks up to a teammate Demoman holding a signboard, which has a picture of a character's eye.]

SMK: What the- What the fuck? What the fuck's that fucking eye?

[After walking into a room with other players on his team, Michael moves around them to make fun of their characters.]

SMK: This fat guy. There's this- There's this fucking n****r, just standin' there, thinking he's fucking cool but he's fuckin' gay. There's more of these skinny guys, but they have freakin' weird suits on.

[He steps on a fallen Pyro player, whose unconscious body is bending in all sorts of directions.]

SMK: There's this, like, clown guy! What the fuck!? Fuckin' gay.

[Leaving the building, Michael finds a Heavy player. As he rants, a wave of enemy Red-teamers storm the area.]

SMK: Then there's this fat n****r who thinks he's cool, but he's fucking gay, and he should be going back to the fucking plantation where all fucking n****rs belong! Fuck all of you!

[He dies.]

SMK: OH FUUUCK!

Female Player: Oh my God, kid! Dude, relax!

SMK: YOU FUCKING RELAX!

Female Player: I am relaxed!

SMK: YOU play fucking GAY-ASS GAMES LIKE FUCKING TEAM FORTRESS 2 AND FUCKING MARIO, B- OBVIOUSLY BECAUSE OF THE GRAPHICS, BUT YOU DON'T FUCKING CARE! YOU'RE THE FUCKING N***********R!

Female Player: Oh my God...

[When Michael calms down, he wonders if his outburst against a random woman will gain the attention of a popular TF2 YouTuber known as NISLT. He is not worried about backlash; rather, he wants clout from being noticed.]

SMK: Am I gonna- Wait, Spy Crap, is NISLT still gonna keep this? Put it up on his YouTube?

[He dies.]

SMK: AAAAAAHHHHH!! ...I-Is Spy Crap gonna be in, umm... Spy Crap, is NISLT gonna be in this...?

[On the respawn spectator screen, several players dance in a conga line. They are subsequently burned to death by a team of Pyros.]

SMK: What the fuck is with this random dancing? That's fucking gay! WHY THE FUCK IS THAT ALLOWED IN A FUCKING WAR GAME!? THAT'S WHY THIS GAME IS SO FUCKING UNREALISTIC! The last time I played this game, that fucking n****r dude, the fucking Snee-iper, he was playing on a fucking-

[He dies.]

SMK: SAXOPHOOOOOOOONE!

[Several players start talking while Michael loses his shit. The score is 3 Blue (his team), 4 Red.]

SMK: AAAAAAHHH!! YOU'RE ALL GAY F****TS! WHY DID YOU LET US WIIII-LOOOOSE!!?

[The Blue and Red Teams spams chat with ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Lenny faces.]

SMK: WHY ARE YOU FUCKING N****RS PUTTING IN A BUNCH OF WEIRD SMILY FACES!? JUST STOP! YOU'RE ALL F****TS! Why are you freaking SPAMMING IN CHAT!?? ...(coughing)

Female Player: Wait, you guys! [unclear]

Squeaker: [unclear]

[People in chat start spamming a copypasta. The messages are hard to see, but it seems to be "What if I told you that my ass is what caused 9/11?"]

SMK: Your ass caused 9/11? That's fucking gay! You're not even born at 9/11!

Female Player: You're gay [unclear].

[A telephone sounds blares at Michael, someone named Führer Dogey.]

SMK: Who the FUCK is calling me on Steam!? ...What- What do you want!? What do you want Furrherr Dogey?! I'M RECORDING!

Dogey: Minecraft is bad.

[The video goes silent for a few seconds. We all know what's coming.]

SMK: FUCK YOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUU!!

[Dogey hangs up and Michael resumes the game.]

[Someone in chat says "WELL I PUT MY POONIS in YOUR ASS!"]

SMK: "I put my poonis in your a-" THAT'S WHY THIS GAME IS SO FUCKING GAY!!

Guy: This is great.

SMK: Where the FUCK is everybody!? Why are there so many fucking n****r-haters on my account!? Every one of those little n****rs are like "Minecraft is gay! MINECRAFT IS GAY!" WELL YOU'RE FUCKING F****TS!!

[He dies.]

SMK: AAAAAAHHHH!! ...(coughing) This is why this game's fucking gay. So many fuckin' things wrong with this fuckin' game. You gettin' all this, Spy Crap? Also, Spy Crap is a fucking gay t-

[A teammate begins to bust a move.]

SMK: WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU DANCING!? THERE'S NO FUCKING DANCING IN WAR! Call of Duty isn't a-

[A Scout starts using a laughing emote at Michael.]

SMK: (in squeaky voice) DON'T YOU FUCKING LAUGH AT MEEEEE!

SMK: DON'T YOU LAUGH AT ME!

[He dies.]

SMK: NO! That's fucking gay!

[More players start dancing and imitating Michael's screams.]

SMK: (coughing and possibly crying)

Player: [unclear, possibly a European language].

SMK: Ugh... Are you sure that NISLT's gonna upload this on YouTube. Even though he plays gay-ass games, he still has really lots of surgriber-

[When he turns a corner in the arena, almost every player dancing in a line.]

SMK: STOP FUCKING DANCING!!

Guy: Awww yeah!

[Michael opens fire.]

SMK: YOU ALL NEED TO BURN IN HELL FOR LIKING THIS FUCKING GAY GAME! AND FUCKING DANCING! WHAT THE FUCK!? YOU GUYS PROBABLY DON'T EVEN LIKE FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S OR MINECRAFT! YOU JUST PLAY TEAM FORTRESS FUCKING 2 ALL FUCKING DAAAAAAAY!!

Guy: C'mon, [unclear].

[After damaging his vocal cords in the crowd of people, Michael was set on fire by a Pyro's gun.]

SMK: Gotta get some health! Gotta get some health! Fuck-

[He dies.]

SMK: FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!

Guy: [copying Michael's screams] I think he's mad about something. I don't know what.

SMK: (coughing)

[The game ends and Michael's team loses.]

SMK: This was going to be by 400 Subscriber Special, because you've- n****rs were all on my server. 'Cause I have like, four fans on my server. But nope! You guys just keep on fuckin' killing me! I'm done! No more recording TF2! This is why I fucking hate TF2! BUNCHA FUCKING F****TS WHO PLAY FUCKING GAY GAMES WITH FUCKING COLORS!

Guy: Shhh... Shhh... Quiet.

SMK: FUCK YOU ALL! I'M LEAVING!