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TERRARIA_REVIEW

TERRARIA REVIEW

TERRARIA REVIEW is a video uploaded by Super Minecraft Kid in 2015. In it, he plays through Terraria while comparing it to Minecraft, labelling it as a shameless ripoff. His complaints gradually devolves into more nonsensical rambling as the video goes on.

The person behind Super Minecraft Kid, FlourtownBrown, enjoys Terraria and has played it with his friends.

Transcript[]

Hey, guys. Super Minecraft Kid here, and I just got Terraria.

[The avatar moves around for a moment and swings at some plant life, then is guided around a small field to demonstrate the petty comparisons between it and Minecraft.]

What… is this game? It’s a fucking ripoff! Like, look at this! Pickaxe?

PICKAXE?!![]

Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?! And a sh-sh-shord! Shitty-ass sword! And look at this. Jump! It’s just like fucking Minecraft except it’s fucking 2D! Why would you- This instantly makes Mar- Minecraft better because it’s 3D! Why would you wanna play something that’s 2-fucking-D when you can play the same game—except better, not a ripoff, and in 3-fucking-D!!

[A nearby tree is attacked as Michael uses an axe on it.]

Also, you know what else is 2-fucking-D?! Fucking Mario! I hate that fucking game! Why would I wanna buy M- Terraria if I… HATE MARIO?!

Let’s get some fucking wood. Where have I seen this before?

Oh yeah!

MINECRAFT![]

What the fuck is this fucking game, it’s fucking awful!

[A second tree is torn down while a passerby NPC strolls through the woods, hastily trying to avoid Michael’s outburst.]

What even is the point of this game? In Minecraft, you have to go to the End. But in this game, you have to… nobody fucking knows! I don’t fucking care! Why not I just do, like every other fucking gay-ass Mario game, go to the fucking right.

[Michael ventures to the east through the forest to see what the world has to offer in order to validate his criticisms.]

Gotta go to the fucking right because th- they- they’re probably gonna probably gonna have “The End” there, because they don’t even care that it’s a Minecraft ripoff. They- they love it. Like, look at this. Stone. Seriously? What the fuck?! This isn’t a fucking shitty-ass cunt dick n****r fuck- Oh my fucking God. What the fuck are these fucking mushroom shit? These shitty fucking mushrooms are always all over the fucking-

[The background transitions to a snowy mountain forest the further Michael moves to the left. This transition of backdrops and inconsistency of precipitation sets him off severely. He eventually stumbles upon red patches of grass along the way.]

Why the fuck is it snowing!? It’s not even snowing here! This isn’t even fucking realistic! At least in Minecraft, when you see the fucking— What the fuck is this fucking red stuff? Is that fucking blood?! Are you trying to say... Are you trying to be serious? Like, what? Seriously? That… (sigh) blood doesn’t even work in this kind of game, ‘cause it’s not realistic so it doesn’t look like actual fucking blood. Fuck you, you cunt n****r!

[A slime attacks in the winter forest.]

What the fuck? What?!

[The video is cut because something in real life interrupts Michael. He comes back and resumes the slime assault against him.]

Alright, I’m ba- The fuck!?

[Michael runs from the first slime, running into another one and chooses to actually fight.]

Wh- what the fuck? That’s a fucking health bar.

I shouldn't be able to tell what the fuck the fucking HEALTH IS!!

Why would you treat your fa- your people who play the game like such fucking idiots when they know how much health is? Minecraft doesn’t tell you! MINECRAFT DOESN'T TELL, because they think you’re smart enough, but Terraria thinks you’re too dumb to understand, that they show the fucking health bars!I

I heard you can’t even mod this game. What the fuck? Why did Terraria creators do that? Like, Minecraft? Minecraft is awesome because they- Mojang made all those awesome mods. T-Terraria people don’t even care! They don’t even care! They don’t give a fucking shit! They’re not making any mods for this game ‘cause they’re fucking gay and they don’t fucking care ‘bout they’re fucking fans; another fucking reason why this game’s fucking cunt shit! No!

[The game pauses randomly and the mouse cursor flies around the screen. Another enemy arrives to attack Michael.]

I keep clicking out of this fucking game ‘cause the fucking window’s too fucking small! What the fuck is that fucking spider!? Why would you rip off Minecraft?!! It’s the same exact spider from fucking MINECRAFT!! So just admit it already! You’re a fucking ripoff of fucking Minecraft! Fuck you, you cunts!

[Michael kills the spider after much button mashing.]

Hell yes! Why would you give an enemy like that so much fucking health? That’s fucking unfair! How the fuck do I get a fucking Diamond Sword? What do acorns do? Fucking nothing. Thanks. Let’s see what this acorn does…

15 health?! What the fuck?? That’s the only healing you’re gonna get in this fucking game! Let’s see how the building is. You can’t even see what block you’re looking at. That’s fucking gay.

[A large purple slime bounces into view, so Michael tries to use his materials to build up to the top of a hill.]

What the fuck is that purple slime? Fuck, it’s getting closer to me! Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Up! Shit, n****r, cunt, dick, wad.

[The slime jumps high enough to push him off the pillar. He sighs deeply and continues building after the bastardous slime leaves.]

Shit! (sigh)... Game’s too fucking hard. Like, usually, at least some Minecraft ripoffs know that you should keep all your enemies in until the end; until the night time. Oh hey, it’s a…

[At the foot of the hill is ruins littered with bones and debris. Michael investigates by smashing some skulls open, then looks into a cave within the hill.]

Actual stuff! First, I’m gonna check this chest.

[He opens his menu, placing items in his hotbar.]

Umm… Torch, alright. Arrows- I don’t even have a fucking bow! Demonic blowpipe. Lead bar? Recall potion… Oh, that’s… gay.

You can’t even blow on the fucking blowpipe!!

[Another NPC walks out from the ruins. He does his best to escape the violent wrath of Michael by hiding in a small pool.]

Who the fuck are you, you fucking old man? Get the fuck out, n****r. Go drown yourself! Yeah, that’s right. I’m gonna trap you fucking in.

[Michael prepares wood logs to encapsulate the old man in the water.]

You can’t leave.

[He leaves.]

No!! Stop it!

[This time in the cave, Michael successfully traps the old man in an incomplete box of logs while also making no room for himself to exit.]

There. Now you can’t ever leave! There. Fuck! This fucking game is so fucking gay. I just can’t take this anymore.

[He exits the prison and goes into the ruins.]

I’m gonna go to the End, I’m gonna beat the “Ender Dragon” ‘cause I know that’s what they’re gonna fucking do, so this must be the stronghold.

[Items are obtained by breaking pottery.]

Shu-ree-ken? Oh! Alright, gonna place this…

[Michael realizes the monstrosity of how torches work in Terraria by skimming over them in the hotbar.]

What the fuck?! Why the fuck would you fucking hold torches? That’s too fucking easy!

IT’S TOO FUCKING EASY!!

Fine, I’ll- there.

[He sets torches carefully as he jumps down the dark pit of the ruins. His fun is quickly interrupted when a Dungeon Guardian skull rolls down the corridor and obliterates him.]

What the FUUUCK!![]

WHAT?!! WHAAAT WAS THAT!!? THAT’S FUCKING GAY- WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU FUCKING DO THAT? WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU- fuck, oh my fucking God! Did you just fucking see that? Did you just fucking see that?! What the fuck was that? A fucking huge skeleton head came out, fucking killed me in one fucking hit!

Here’s a fucking tip for you: If you want your pe- your fans to actually play this fucking game, even though it has no mods, is a ripoff of Minecraft, and it- there and the enemies have fucking health bars!

You know what, y-aybe you should make the enemies NOT KILL YOU IN A SINGLE HIT! Then, people can actually stand against that monster! What the fuck!? Why would you do that?! That’s the worst fucking design choice I’ve ever heard of a fucking game! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! I’m done with this game! I quit! You guys told me to buy it, it’s fucking gay! You’re all fucking n****r’s cunt! Stop hating on me! I hate you! FUCK!!

Trivia[]

  • Michael dislikes the fact that Terraria's enemies have health bars, and sees it as yet another factor that makes the game inferior to Minecraft. Considering that the Ender Dragon itself has a health bar, it's implied that Michael has never beaten or even seen the Ender Dragon.
Heroes Super Minecraft Kid - Chica - Steve - JWM321 - BonziBUDDY - Subscribers
Haters Haters - FlourtownBrown - Mr. Cleasel - Ballonz_Boy - Scott Cawthon - Mario - Dora - Strippers - Freddy Fazbear - Bonnie - I Hate Everything - Old Man - Shigeru Miyamoto
Games Minecraft - Five Nights at Freddy's - Roblox - Team Fortress 2 - Call of Duty - Undertale
Ripoffs What SMK hates - Terraria - My Little Pony - The Legend of Zelda - Sonic the Hedgehog - Super Smash Bros. - Tetris
Worlds Real World - MINECRAFTIA - Five Nights at Freddy's Mod - Hell - Kindergarden
Fan-made Supah Minceraft Kid - Super Minecraft Kid Forever - Super Minecraft Kid Animated: The Movie: The Game - Super Minecraft Kid Re-Animated
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Music fnaf song cover 2 - fnaf song cover 2 - originl song "we hate the haters - fnaf song cover 3 - thrift shop minecraft parody
Gameplay lets play fnaf ep 1 - fnaf lets play 2 - minecraft lets play survival gaems - minecraft survival games 2! - cod zombies gameplay - lets play tf2 - tf2 2 - survival games 3 - TERRARIA REVIEW - LETS PLAY RO BLOX - TF2 3 - survival games 3 fnaf theory - TF2 4 - undertale lets play part 1 - new survival games and zelda breath of the wild review - tf2 new video
Commentary ULTIMATE RANT AGANST NINTENDO - WHY NINTENDO IS A TERRIBLE COMPANY - stop hating on fnaf - stop hating on minecraft - MLP IS GAY MLP BRONY RANT FUCK - haters react - the qna - fnafcringe - fnaf voice impressions 1000 subs special - SCOTT CAWTHON RANT - fnaf 4 trailer REACTION - 10 thousand subscribers NEW SKIN! - top 5 best games ever made - qna - NINTENDO SWITCH REACTION AND EARLY REVIEW
Minecraft Animated minecraft ANIMATED! Episode 1! - minecraft animated 2 (fnaf) - MINECRAFT ANIMATED EPISODE 3! CHICA SAVES ME - minecraft animated episode 4! - minecraft animated episdode 5 - minecraft animated episode 6 the war - minecraft animted episode 7 the end - Minecraft animated season 2 episode 1 - super minecraft kid : the anime SEASON 2 : episode 2
Other goodbye - im not leaving - smk channel trailer - My Edited Video - i got grounded - qna announcement - super minecraft kid animated season 2 trailer - Lost Videos
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