Minecraft lets play survival gaems

Minecraft lets play survival games

minecraft lets play survival gaems is a video uploaded by Super Minecraft Kid on March 31, 2015, and is the first instance of Michael playing Minecraft on his channel. According to Michael, he purchased Minecraft shortly before recording the video, and explains how his interest in the game was sparked by Tobuscus' Let's Play on YouTube.

In the video, Michael plays three rounds of Survival Games (once on Hypixel, twice on Mineplex) and unsurprisingly loses every time.

Description

im like skydoesminecraft

Transcript

Alright, guys. Let's play some fuckin' Minecraft, okay? Umm, let's play on, umm...

[Michael scrolls through a bunch of servers on the Multiplayer menu. One of the servers is called "EARTHBOUND", and the person behind SMK is a fan of the Mother trilogy.]

Let's play on, umm... h-umm, umm... Hypixel server, okay, you fucks?

[Upon entering Hypixel, the framerate drops drastically.]

Oh my fucking God! [mic cuts] STOP FUCKING LAGGING! I wanna be a creeper 'cause creepers are funny. I like creepers.

[He clicks on a creeper statue and becomes one.]

I'm a creeper now! (childish giggling)

[Near the creeper statue is a large sign that says "PLAY" for the Mega Walls minigame.]

Play? I wanna play. Mega Walls? Ew, I don't wanna play that game. That game's fuckin' so fuckin' long. Fuck. Like, fucking fuck.

[Michael opens the Game Menu and clicks on a diamond sword, which takes him to the Survival Games lobby.]

Let's play... Survival Games! I'm the best at PvP; you don't even know. I'm the greatest. I could beat all y'all in a second. I'm the best, like, really strategic. Okay.

[He runs over to a wall to enter the Survival Games waiting rooms.]

Let's play, umm... Mmmmmmm... This one. This one has a lotta people on it. (sigh) Okay, I'm joining. I'm gonna win this game so hard. I'm not lagging anymore, so there you go. So it'll be funner to watch. Oh yeah, I finally got enough Good Boy Points to buy this game. I watched Tobuscus play it, and that's why my name is Super Minecraft Kid, but today I got the game. But, it was like a couple hours ago. So I got the game and it was al- al- really cool and awesome. So, umm, yeah.

[The waiting time ends, dropping Michael and the other players around the cornucopia.]

Alright! Oh, I got a bow! Oh wait. No, it's just 'cause that ski- Umm... I'll be a knight. Yeah. Knights are cool.

[Standing on the platform next to Michael is someone whose skin is a slime dressed like a secret agent. Their name is AgentSlimey.]

Hello, AgentSlimey. I like slimes.

[To his left is someone dressed like a Mexican stereotype with a sombrero and patterned poncho. Their name is mc_lawnmower1337.]

mc_lawnmower? You don't- (chuckle) You don't low- mow laun- lawns in Minecraft, you silly head. Ugh, I can't move...

[Fireworks burst around the players and a countdown starts ticking. Everyone hops in anticipation.]

Hold on, it's gonna start! It's gonna start! Here we go! Yeah!

[The players are released. Michael rushes to a chest containing raw porkchop, a bowl, 3 rotten flesh, a wood axe, and a bottle o' enchanting.]

Food! Axe! Axe! Oh f- I can- Uhh...!

[He tries to explain the bottle o' enchanting, but is forced to run away so he isn't killed.]

I'm running away! I'm the best at PvP, though, but I'm still running away.

[Instead of running out into the arena, Michael runs to cave walls near the cornucopia. He finds a gap in the stone and crouches.]

Ugh, no. I'm hiding... Ssshhh... Ssshhh... They can't find me. Oh boy. Oh no.

[He sees a player running near his hiding spot. They are struck by lightning as AgentSlimey kills them. The green-skinned agent spots Michael and goes in for the kill.]

No! No! AgentSlimey! Oh my fucking GOD!

[Michael, being the PvP got that he is, strikes Slimey with his fist instead of his wood axe.]

I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU! Use the axe, use the axe! [in a Texan accent] Super-Fly Wood Axe! Got it- It's Super-Fly.

[Slimey runs away, equipping himself with leather gear and an axe.]

Oh, he has an axe too! Oh no! Ohhh, I'm gonna win! Oh, I'm gonna win! I'm the best, I'm the best, I'm the best! I can do dit [sic]! I can- Nobody can beat me!

[He brings Slimey down to low health, but they recover slightly.]

Uh-oh. Two hearts, two hearts! Five hearts? What?! I will kill you!

[Near a small lake, Michael passes by another player named deadpoolrider. This player killed someone else and they dropped diamonds. deadpoolrider starts chasing Michael while he pursues AgentSlimey.]

Wait, what?! How did he get three diamonds!? Freakin' unfair, ya fucking fuck! Alright, AgentSlimey! I'm gonna fucking kill you, you fuck!

[The trio of hunters slowly tread through the lake, and Michael clicks rapidly on his axe.]

Fuck, fuck, fuck, yes! Yes!

[He spots deadpoolrider drawing near.]

No! No! Oh no!

[From the shore, Slimey tosses a splash potion of harming at Michael, bringing him down to three hearts.]

Nooo! Oh fuck, oh fuck, I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die! Oh fuck!

[Michael limps along the walls of a building and slips into the lake. deadpoolrider seizes the opportunity, slicing the newbie 11 year-old to death.

Oh fuck! Oh fuck! FUUUUUUUCK! OH MY FUCK! WHAT THE FUUUUUUCK!

[As a spectator, he sees AgentSlimey and deadpoolrider create an alliance.]

Ugh! I hate this GAME! I! HATE! THIS! GAME! Uuuuuugh!

[Michael breaks down in tears lol]

My fucking God! Oh my... (gasp) Oh my fucking God... I... They're hacking...! I'm leaving this game! I'm leaving it now! Why can't I leave? Fuck! Fuck, load faster! Ugh! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! I'm just gonna skip until the, umm, it le- it makes me leave.

[The video cuts to Michael losing his patience and leaving the server altogether.]

Ugh. I'm just disconnecting. Let's play, umm, Mineplex! Yeah! F- Mineplex is fun. Game Menu. Survival Games, yeah.

[He looks through the Game Menu options for Survival Games.]

Wait, I don't wanna spectate. Wh-What? What the fuck?

[Michael becomes frustrated because he isn't being let into the game.]

What the fuck!? Umm... Umm... Umm... Let's look over here. Pro'lly over here. Alright, guys.

[The video cuts again to Michael in a Survival Game waiting room. For a brief moment, it seems that SMK's actor is reminding himself to act stupid while recording.]

-gonna say it. S- Just, you're dumb. Umm... Knight. Oh yeah, that t- reminds me. Why didn't I get a sword as a knight? I mean, it showed a sword. Maybe I just did more damage. I probably do more damage that way.

[He looks at the different statues for classes, some of which can only be selected with microtransactions.]

Mmmm... I wish I could pay money. I wish I had money. My parents won't give me any money. But, umm, if I had money, I could buy those things with my gems.

[Everyone is sent to the cornucopia. Michael looks left and right to see who he's fighting against. Two of the competitor's names are clonethecrafter, skylanders08, and HungerGames4Dayz.]

clonethecrafter. What a gay name. Skylanders? Seriously? You seriously play Skyl- HungerGames4Dayz? Really? That's fuckin' stupid.

[The game begins. Michael isn't fast enough and can't find a chest amidst the crowd.]

Ohhh, everybody took our [sic] chest!

[A player named jarred2007 is still standing on one of the podiums, so Michael runs up and punches him to death. jarred2007 has items, meaning he must have been lagging.]

Ooh, I'm gonna kill this man. You're gonna die. Goodbye! Oh! Oh, I'm gonna kill 'im! I'm gonna kill 'im! I'm gonna kill 'im! Gonna gill [sic] 'im! Gonna kill 'im! Gonna kill 'im! Gonna get 'im! Gonna kill 'im! Alright, Jarred! Yeah, I killed 'im! Oh yeah! PvP Master over here, guys. Yeah, I know.

[Michael, completely unarmed, runs towards a valley to find his next victim. A player named YouYun743 and a chest are close by.]

Oh, hello. H-Hello, my- person. Oh, I got rotten flesh. Maybe I should team up with him. Hello!

[He gets close to YouYun743 and nods his head in hopes that they can form an alliance. The player throws a punch at Michael instead, so he runs back to the cornucopia.]

Uh-oh! Uh-oh! Uh-oh! That's not good! I'm running over here now! Is he behind me...? Yes, he's still chasing me! Ooooh boy, he's just gonna chase me 'cause he thinks he's really good, but he's really not. He's a f****t! But he's gonna- He's... (sigh)

[After running up a hillside walkway, Michael turns around to see if YouYun743 is still hunting him down. They appear to be gone for now.]

Oh. All right, he left. I'm just gonna go up here.

[The walkway leads up to a bridge surrounded by giant cherry blossom trees. There is a house built into a mountain on the other side.]

This is like... probably like China. I think this is-

[YouYun runs towards Michael.]

Oh no! He's still comin'! Ooooh, I gotta get there to the chest before him! It probably has a sword in there! Oh, he's getting close! Ooooh, he's getting close! I gotta run! Gotta run!

[He runs into the house and shuts the door behind him.]

I-I'm the best! I'm the best! I'm the best at this game! Ooh, ooh! Close the door! Yes, he can't get it then! All right.

[A chest lies in the corner of the room. Inside is a pair of leather boots and some wheat. As Michael collects these items, he hears the front door slam open.]

Chest! Oh, come on! Boots, seriously?!

[YouYun begins his assault and the two players duke it out in a fistfight.]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop! I will fuck you up! I'm gonna FUCK you up! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck, ghh, ghh, ghh, I was gonna-

[Michael's health is reduced to half a heart, but just when he thinks he is about to lose, a new player named jaynt456 shows up to finish off YouYun743.]

Yes! Thank you.

[jaynt456 slaps Michael across the face, depleting him of his last heart.]

NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

[The video cuts to him spectating the arena.]

Oh fuck... All right. I'll return to hub.

[Back at the waiting room, Michael leaps into the void while the countdown expires. The players next to him are jakejake88 and iceweird.]

Wheeee!! Umm, all right! Let's do it, jakejake and iceweird!

[Two fighters are sharing the same podium and are clipping through one another.]

Whoa... They're the same little [unclear] thing. That's weird. Let's do it! "25 Tributes"? What the fuck? There's only supposed to be 24.

[Michael is released from his podium and dives into the cornucopia. He snags a cake, 4 apples, chainmail leggings, 3 cooked porkchop, 8 raw fish, and a fishing rod.]

Oh, I got a cake! Apple! Ooh, ooh this is really good! This stuff-

[Someone starts to attack him.]

Really!? Really!? Really!? Seriously? So- Everyone- People are too eager to kill other people in this game. It's fuckin' stupid. People are fuckin' dumb.

[He runs down to a forest where another player can be seen next to a windmill.]

Uh-oh! 'Nother person! Let's go over here. Uhh... Mmmm... Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck... Oh God, oh God, fuck, oh fuck, fuck-

[As Michael tries to run from potential threats, he spots a player chasing somebody down in the distance.]

Oh fuck! Fuck! Oh fuck! Oh God, fuck. Ohh... Ohhh, God. Oh, let's go the windmill. There's probably some wheat in the wind- windmill.

[From atop a cliff, Michael sees that someone else beat him to the windmill.]

Oh fuck! Ohhhh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Let's fuckin', uhh, go over here I guess. It's the only way-

[A player named PvP_Master1 chases Michael down and tries to pelt him with snowballs.]

Oh ffff... Oh fuck! Ah, fuck! Oh no! Oh, this is not good! D- I'll give him porkchops! D-Do you like porkchops? Here, porkchop! Just wanna have peace!

[PvP_Master1 uses a special tool that sends Michael flying into the air. Luckily for him, he lands on a tree.]

NOPE! Ugh, no! Heheh! You can't get me! Ha-ha!

[The black-hooded foe attempts to leap onto the tree, but accidentally falls off a small cliff instead.]

Oh, he can't catch me! Oooh, I- I win! I can't- He can't kill me! Aaaaah yeah! Thank you! (sigh) Next thing, I'm gonna beat this game! Time to pick up this guy.

[Michael casts his fishing rod to pull PvP_master1 in his direction as he runs back up the cliff, .]

Nope. C'mon! Upon- C'mon! C'mon! Ah, fuck! All right... Umm...

[Before deciding whether or not he could leap down, he chooses to play it safe by looking down from the treetop.]

(sigh)... This is just trying to find, like, creative ways to kill me, 'cause he's not gonna kill me~! 'Cause he's a f****t~! Ooooh! Oh, I just burned him. Y'know, I've got a better idea.

[To pass the time, Michael looks down upon the inferior players and finds clever ways to make fun of them.]

Your... You- All right- You- I'm just gonna make fun of everyone and they can't do anything about it. Umm, you, umm... Your mommy and daddy didn't know how to make sex-

[He casts his rod at a passerby competitor, blowing his cover. The player takes aim with a bow and nearly hits Michael, so he hides in the shrubbery.]

Oh God! He's got a bow! Fuck! All right, I'm safe now. Your mommy and daddy didn't know how to have sex, so they put the penis in the butthole, and then you came out. Yeah, I know. Sick burn. ...Oh God, he's still got a bow! Uhhh, peace treaty? Do you want some fish? Fish!

[Michael throws a single piece of fish from the tree. In return, an arrow pierces his forehead.]

Ow! Fuck! He does not want the fish! Nope! He wants to fuckin' kill me like a f-

[He hears arrows being rapidly fired into the tree branches. Some fly directly over his hiding place.]

Oh fuck. Oh fu- Oh fuck! Oh, he's gonna waste all his arrows. What'chu gonna do now, bitch? Yeah, that's right. I know big kid words. ...Where is he? Oh, he's probably trying to circle around and get me there. Let's see... Nope, can't see him. Probably under here. Where are you, f****t? All right, umm... Yeah, I guess I just better, like, go over here.

[Hoping the player is gone, Michael leaps off the tree and runs back to the cornucopia.]

12 Tributes left? That's... I mean, yeah, I'm pretty good. Like, see how good I am at PvP? I can just, like, sneak up and stuff. I'm just so great. I'm just, like, the best. Let's go, let's go, let's goooo!

[To his right is a gate to another part of the arena. He checks what's beyond the stone wall, only to see the windmill from before.]

Oh wait, no. Th- We went there before. Fuck. (sigh)... Uh-oh. What is... that, a body?

[The corpse of PvP_Master1 lies below one of the podiums.]

Yeah, looks like a body. They added bodies in this version? That's... Huh. Didn't know that. All right, let's continue! Or maybe I should just wait here until 3.4 minutes pass, and then I can just get a chest refill. Uh-oh.

[In the abandoned town, Michael finds an empty chest.]

Yep, okay. Somebody's probably been here. Or maybe someone has been here and then they moved. Ugh, I think all the chests have been fuckin' looted. Fuck. Umm...

[The booming alert of someone's death echoes through the midnight sky.]

Ooh, fireworks. I like fireworks. My daddy shows me fireworks when we go to 4th of July parties. That's gonna in, like, three months, so...

[Michael climbs up a cobweb-filled tower. At the top, he sees a beam of light shooting up into the sky, looking over the tower's edge to investigate.]

Ooh, I wonder what the, umm, beacon means. Ooh, better not fall... That'd be bad. Jump, jump.

[One part of the tower connects to a U-shaped pathway on top of a bridge.]

Ooh, I wanna see what this leads to. Oh boy, this is gonna be long. Uhhhhhh... Fuuuuuck...

[There is no treasure to be found.]

Hey, still better than Nintendo games, am I right? (scoff) Oh yeah, sick burn. Ugh, fuckin' lag! Fuckin' go away! Fuck! Go away!

[A chest on the other side of the bridge contains a wood sword, a stone axe, and a stick.]

Sword! Yes! Oh yeah, stone axe and a wooden sword! I win at this at this game. I win at PvP, and I know all the best chests loot locations. And if I can't win, I can just break out the hacks like I usually do. But this time, I might won [sic] without h-hacks. You see, in this game, you can't lie about if you won or not which is dumb. So... Gotta get the hacks.

[Michael walks down the tower on a spiral staircase. He trips and falls near the bottom, but doesn't take any fall damage. Outside is a stone stage with a chest at the end.]

Whoa! Oh, okay. I didn't fall. Chest, uhh boy. Pro'lly has something not good in here, 'cause pro'lly looted it, but let's check anyway.

[The chest is empty.]

Fuck! Ugh, nothing fucking good. All right, let's go back to the cornucopia, see if there's any good thing [sic] good there. ♪Fuckin' walking around, like huge fuckin' f****t~♪

[There is another chest by the stage. Inside is a pair of leather boots and some cooked chicken.]

Oh! Chickeeeeen! ♪Chicken and toast, yeah, chicken and toast, yeah, chicken and toast♪ Y- By the way, I'm not fuckin'... My skin's fuckin' Shrek. Umm, he's not- I don't like "Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life". That's fuckin' dumb. I just like the fuckin' movie. The fuckin' movie's fuckin' hilarious. All right, I guess we better just wait here for a minute or so. (sigh)...

[On the cornucopia, one of the chests is open even though no one is using it.]

Why the- Why's that chest- Is someone fucking hacking? ...There's another body.

[The dead players' corpses have twisted necks. One of the bodies is under a shallow pool of water.]

Oh a- These bodies are real fuckin' stupid. Like, who has their neck like that? Ooh!

[With no one in sight, Michael uses this opportunity to steal whatever is left in the unoccupied chests. One has an apple, and another has a gold ingot.]

Oh, butter! Haha! Oh, butter. SkyDoesMinecraft's the best.

[One of the chests as a special compass. If someone holds the compass, it will point to the nearest player.]

Ooh, ooh, ooh! Ooh, compass? Iron ingot. Ooh, if I had- If I had enough- I had another iron ingot or butter ingot, I could make, umm... I could make a, umm, iron sword, and then I'd pwn people. Ugh. Have to wait a while though.

[There are 30 seconds left until all chests refill, so Michael hatches a plan.]

30 seconds! Ooh! All right, I can do this! I can make a butter- a butter... Umm, no, not butter. Iron sword, then I can win this game. Gonna be the best! All right, better eat up. Wait, do I have two? No, I just have one.

[He scans his inventory and misremembers having two compasses.]

All right. Hmm, okay...

[A player returns to the cornucopia and charges at Michael. He only manages to hit him once before the cautious 11-year-old runs away.]

Oh! Oh fuck! Oh fuck! Oh fuck! Come on! Come the fuck on! Augh, fuck! Where'd he go?

[All chests are refilled; the Deathmatch begins.]

Oh fuck... That's not fuckin' good. Maybe I can team up with him. [unclear]

[As he digs for loot through the re-stocked chests, someone attacks him from behind.]

Oh FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!! FUCK!

[Michael is eliminated from the game.]

FUUUUUUUCK!! FUUUUUUUUUCK!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!